Is it good to be in the middle? Sometimes no, like when you're in the middle seat on a long car ride. But sometimes yes, like when you're in the middle of a great movie. What will happen next? Middle school is a little bit like that.
Middle school is called middle school because it's in the middle of your school years. Elementary school will be behind you soon. High school and college awaits you. Middle school, in our area, includes sixth, seventh, and eighth grades.
For a kid, going to middle school is often a BIG change:
Learning New Stuff. Your homework — and the work you do in class — likely will become more challenging, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. You're growing up and you get to build on all the learning you received in elementary school. You'll also probably be learning some new and different stuff in middle school — like foreign languages, more advanced courses in computer technology, music and art, health, and life skills, such as cooking and early childhood development. On top of that, middle school will probably offer a variety of new teams, clubs, and activities you can join. Maybe you love lacrosse, ceramics, or jazz music. You might find opportunities to do all three at middle school.
Still worried about middle school? Let's talk about how to make the transition
Visit more than once. Most middle schools have orientation day for students who will be attending in the Fall. During your 5th grade year, your School Counselor will schedule a Rising 6th Grade Orientation Day field trip for Renaissance and Camp Creek Middle Schools; you will attend one based on your attendance zone. This is a day when you tour the school and get a lot of information about what it will be like to go there. Another great way to get oriented is to attend a concert or sporting event at your new school. Be sure to talk to friends who already go there. Ask them about any problems they had and ask if they could help you if you need it when you get there. It's cool to have an older kid as a friend at your new school!
It will also be helpful if your parents drive you to the school over the summer. You might see sports teams practicing outside and just get a better feel of the place. It's also good to get an idea of where it is in your area. Is it over near the mall, near the gym or on the other side of town?
Prepare for Day 1. Read any materials you get at orientation or that arrive by mail in the summer. Are there books you need to read or supplies you have to buy? You'll also want to know what time school starts and what time the bus will pick you up so you can decide what time you'll need to wake up. You also might want to find out when your lunch period will be. If it's later than usual, you might want to pack a snack. Also think about in advance what you'll wear. Choose something that you like and feel comfortable in. If you'll be wearing a uniform, try it on to see that all the pieces fit and that they feel good.
Get to bed on time the night before! Try to get a good night's sleep — even if you're so excited you don't think you can sleep. Before bed, lay out all your stuff so you don't forget anything. Set your alarm, but tell your mom or dad when you need to get up in case you sleep right through it!
On the big day, eat breakfast and be brave. If you're thinking about skipping breakfast because you're in a hurry, don't do this. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and you will feel terrible by mid-morning when you need your energy and brain power to navigate your new school.
On your way out the door, take everything you need and try to remember that this is a big adventure. You might get lost in the halls. Oh well, it's your first day! Check in with friends you know and try to be brave and say "hi" to other new kids. Don't know the kid with the locker next to yours? Say "hello." You'll be seeing a lot of each other this year!
In class, listen to what the teacher says and take notes because it's hard to remember everything. Try to write down the important stuff — like your locker combination and your homeroom number. Then you can look it over when you get home and be prepared for Day 2.
On Day 2, repeat. On the second day, do everything you did on Day 1. Hopefully, things are starting to go a little more smoothly. Keep referring to your notes. It might help to look over your class schedule at home so you start to memorize your class schedule, (e.g. math follows English and science follows gym, but only on Tuesdays).
After 1 week, pat yourself on the back. When you've been at your school for a whole week, it's time to give yourself a round of applause. You've probably absorbed a ton of new information — all in a short time. You probably know your locker combination, where your assigned seat is in all your classes, where the bathrooms are, and how to get to the cafeteria. Do you still get lost on the way to gym? If so, find a buddy who goes to gym at the same time and walk together.
Solving Problems Beyond Week 1. If you find you're having trouble with schoolwork or friends, don't panic, ask for help. Just like in elementary school, ask the teacher for extra help after class if you don't understand something you're learning. You also might have study halls in middle school — these free periods are great for talking to a teacher or getting a head start on your homework.
Also talk to your parents if you're having trouble with your classes. It could be that you're just a little rusty after that long summer break, but if your problems don't go away, you'll want to talk to the teacher and maybe your school counselor.
When it comes to friends, the switch to a new school can leave you feeling a little dizzy. What if your best friend isn't in any of your classes and you never see him or her? What if none of your friends will attend your new school? Middle school is a good time to make new connections and new friends.
Sometimes, it's easy to make a new friend. You might meet the first day and then hang out all year long. But it can also go more slowly, especially if it seems like a lot of kids are already hanging out together in groups that don't include you. Let someone know how it's going for you. Talk to your parents or your school counselor if you're feeling lonely and things are not getting any better.
You might wonder what you can do to feel less lonely and make friends. Here's something: Try joining a club, sport, or activity as these are great ways to get to know kids you don't know yet. Being in these groups can also help you feel more at home at your new school. By your second year in middle school, you will be that cool older kid who's helping all of the new kids find their way!
Source: Kidshealth.org
Please Scan the QR Code below to complete the Rising 6th Grade Student Survey:
Middle school is called middle school because it's in the middle of your school years. Elementary school will be behind you soon. High school and college awaits you. Middle school, in our area, includes sixth, seventh, and eighth grades.
For a kid, going to middle school is often a BIG change:
- First, it often means moving to a new building, which takes some time to adjust to.
- Second, it may mean taking a different bus with different students.
- Third, the friends you made in elementary school may end up going to different middle schools.
- Fourth, this will be your first year using lockers and combination locks. But don't worry, your school counselor will teach you how to use combination locks during your 5th grade year.
Learning New Stuff. Your homework — and the work you do in class — likely will become more challenging, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. You're growing up and you get to build on all the learning you received in elementary school. You'll also probably be learning some new and different stuff in middle school — like foreign languages, more advanced courses in computer technology, music and art, health, and life skills, such as cooking and early childhood development. On top of that, middle school will probably offer a variety of new teams, clubs, and activities you can join. Maybe you love lacrosse, ceramics, or jazz music. You might find opportunities to do all three at middle school.
Still worried about middle school? Let's talk about how to make the transition
Visit more than once. Most middle schools have orientation day for students who will be attending in the Fall. During your 5th grade year, your School Counselor will schedule a Rising 6th Grade Orientation Day field trip for Renaissance and Camp Creek Middle Schools; you will attend one based on your attendance zone. This is a day when you tour the school and get a lot of information about what it will be like to go there. Another great way to get oriented is to attend a concert or sporting event at your new school. Be sure to talk to friends who already go there. Ask them about any problems they had and ask if they could help you if you need it when you get there. It's cool to have an older kid as a friend at your new school!
It will also be helpful if your parents drive you to the school over the summer. You might see sports teams practicing outside and just get a better feel of the place. It's also good to get an idea of where it is in your area. Is it over near the mall, near the gym or on the other side of town?
Prepare for Day 1. Read any materials you get at orientation or that arrive by mail in the summer. Are there books you need to read or supplies you have to buy? You'll also want to know what time school starts and what time the bus will pick you up so you can decide what time you'll need to wake up. You also might want to find out when your lunch period will be. If it's later than usual, you might want to pack a snack. Also think about in advance what you'll wear. Choose something that you like and feel comfortable in. If you'll be wearing a uniform, try it on to see that all the pieces fit and that they feel good.
Get to bed on time the night before! Try to get a good night's sleep — even if you're so excited you don't think you can sleep. Before bed, lay out all your stuff so you don't forget anything. Set your alarm, but tell your mom or dad when you need to get up in case you sleep right through it!
On the big day, eat breakfast and be brave. If you're thinking about skipping breakfast because you're in a hurry, don't do this. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and you will feel terrible by mid-morning when you need your energy and brain power to navigate your new school.
On your way out the door, take everything you need and try to remember that this is a big adventure. You might get lost in the halls. Oh well, it's your first day! Check in with friends you know and try to be brave and say "hi" to other new kids. Don't know the kid with the locker next to yours? Say "hello." You'll be seeing a lot of each other this year!
In class, listen to what the teacher says and take notes because it's hard to remember everything. Try to write down the important stuff — like your locker combination and your homeroom number. Then you can look it over when you get home and be prepared for Day 2.
On Day 2, repeat. On the second day, do everything you did on Day 1. Hopefully, things are starting to go a little more smoothly. Keep referring to your notes. It might help to look over your class schedule at home so you start to memorize your class schedule, (e.g. math follows English and science follows gym, but only on Tuesdays).
After 1 week, pat yourself on the back. When you've been at your school for a whole week, it's time to give yourself a round of applause. You've probably absorbed a ton of new information — all in a short time. You probably know your locker combination, where your assigned seat is in all your classes, where the bathrooms are, and how to get to the cafeteria. Do you still get lost on the way to gym? If so, find a buddy who goes to gym at the same time and walk together.
Solving Problems Beyond Week 1. If you find you're having trouble with schoolwork or friends, don't panic, ask for help. Just like in elementary school, ask the teacher for extra help after class if you don't understand something you're learning. You also might have study halls in middle school — these free periods are great for talking to a teacher or getting a head start on your homework.
Also talk to your parents if you're having trouble with your classes. It could be that you're just a little rusty after that long summer break, but if your problems don't go away, you'll want to talk to the teacher and maybe your school counselor.
When it comes to friends, the switch to a new school can leave you feeling a little dizzy. What if your best friend isn't in any of your classes and you never see him or her? What if none of your friends will attend your new school? Middle school is a good time to make new connections and new friends.
Sometimes, it's easy to make a new friend. You might meet the first day and then hang out all year long. But it can also go more slowly, especially if it seems like a lot of kids are already hanging out together in groups that don't include you. Let someone know how it's going for you. Talk to your parents or your school counselor if you're feeling lonely and things are not getting any better.
You might wonder what you can do to feel less lonely and make friends. Here's something: Try joining a club, sport, or activity as these are great ways to get to know kids you don't know yet. Being in these groups can also help you feel more at home at your new school. By your second year in middle school, you will be that cool older kid who's helping all of the new kids find their way!
Source: Kidshealth.org
Please Scan the QR Code below to complete the Rising 6th Grade Student Survey:
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How to Make Friends at School
Here are some tips that will help you make friends and become a better person:
Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them.
If they continue, tell an adult.
Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling sad, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. Being positive will make people want to be around you a lot more.
Tell a joke. Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away. If you joke about
your friend in a rude way, it could damage your relationship with them.
Smile as much as you can! Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying.
Say "HELLO" to those that don't talk much. Share something about yourself, such as someplace you’ve been or something that you like to do.
Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are.
Be nice to others. Share things, give compliments, and don’t say things that may hurt someone’s feelings.
Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend.
Show respect. Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say.
Here are some tips that will help you make friends and become a better person:
Just be yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions. If someone insults you, just ignore them.
If they continue, tell an adult.
Be optimistic. Even if you are feeling sad, remember that there's always something out there to smile about. Being positive will make people want to be around you a lot more.
Tell a joke. Having a sense of humor is important, but don't get too carried away. If you joke about
your friend in a rude way, it could damage your relationship with them.
Smile as much as you can! Signs of encouragement let people know you care about what they are saying.
Say "HELLO" to those that don't talk much. Share something about yourself, such as someplace you’ve been or something that you like to do.
Love yourself. It is difficult to like others when you do not appreciate yourself for who you are.
Be nice to others. Share things, give compliments, and don’t say things that may hurt someone’s feelings.
Be honest. Lying will make people not want to be your friend.
Show respect. Respect everyone, no matter what they think or say.
When Friends Fight
Okay, so your best friend has just said something ultra-mean to you...or worse, she's just said something about you to someone else, behind your back. You're angry, and your first impulse is to say something nasty right back to her, or write her an awful note, or uninvite her to your party
When we're feeling like this, it's hard to sit down and just THINK. But that's the first thing we should do when we've been fighting with a friend. When we use our mouths before our minds, it usually results in something we'll regret later. Instead, take some time to examine what this fight is all about.
If a friend has suddenly started ignoring you or acting like they don't want to be your friend anymore, it is extra-important to think about what's going on before you try to talk to him or her.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
How did this start?
Think about the Who, What, Where, and When of the fight. Who's involved? What happened, and where, and when? How did it happen?
Who seems to have started it?
Don't ask this question as a way of blaming someone. Maybe it seems like you started things off, or perhaps your friend did. It might even seem like neither of you started the fight, or you're both equally at fault. Whatever the answer, it will help you learn more about the situation.
Have any of us done things to make it worse?
What we do or say after a fight begins can make things better or worse. Think about how you and your friend acted after you first began fighting.
Am I mainly angry at my friend for something he did, or am I mostly sad that we're fighting?
Try to sort out exactly what you're feeling. Are you angry? Frustrated? Jealous? Regretful? Do your emotions mostly come from what caused the fight, or the fact that you're fighting in the first place?
Does my friend seem mainly angry, or mainly sad?
Judging by what you see or hear, what are you friend's emotions? Does she seem like she wants the fight to continue, or could she be looking for a way to make up?
Did we have the chance to make things better, but let it go by because we were still too angry?
You may feel like you have the right to stay angry at your friend, and depending on the situation, you just might be. But have you missed chances to heal an important friendship just because you want to hang on to your anger?
Is the thing we started fighting about still worth fighting about, or do we just keep fighting about the fight itself?
Arguments can have lives of their own, and can keep going long after the real reason for arguing has stopped being important. Sometimes fighting friends can't even remember why they first began fighting! Are you and your friend mad at each other just because it's become a habit?
Since every conflict involves at least two people, you've got to talk things over with your friend. The first thing to do is ask your friend to talk to you in private. If other people are around, you might not feel totally comfortable being open and honest with each other. Other kids could take sides in the conversation and make matters worse. What happens if he or she doesn't want to talk? You could also write a letter, which we talk about below. The way in which you talk to your friend is very important. If you start off by saying "You did this," or "You did that," that's accusing, not communicating. Instead, try something called an "I-Message." An I-Message has three parts:
1) I feel ___________________
Be specific about your emotions. You can use more than one word.
2) When you ________________
Give details of how your friend has acted or what he or she has done.
3) Because ________________
This is the hard one: the "why."
Here's an example of an I-Message:
"I feel lonely and angry when you spend more time with other friends, because I don't know why we can't all hang out together.
Here are some other important things to remember when you're talking things out:
Stay cool and talk calmly
You and your friend may be dealing with a lot of emotions, but you should try to stay nice and calm while you talk about why you're fighting. Be sure to let your friend talk for as long as he wants, even if you don't agree with what he's saying. Ask him to give you the same courtesy and let you speak your mind without interruption.
Avoid the blame game
When we talk to someone we've been fighting with, it's natural to say or think things like, "You started it" or "It was all my fault." Try to throw away the whole idea of blame, even if you think your friend is in the wrong. Talk about how the fight has been affecting you both, and discuss the causes of the fight, but don't let the conversation break down into accusations about who did what. All that is in the past, and what you're concentrating on now is the future.
Don't get trapped in another fight
Don't let your talk with your friend make things worse. If it's not going well, it may turn into another fight! The best idea at this point is to put it off until a better time.
Try writing it down
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your friend face-to-face just yet, you might want to write down all your feelings in a letter. Writing letters is a GREAT way to sort out our thoughts and emotions, and express ourselves without worrying about saying the wrong thing. When writing, try to keep in mind all the things we've already mentioned, and don't let the letter become a way of expressing your anger or placing blame. When you finish the letter, you can either send it to your friend or keep it for yourself, as a way of helping you through a talk. I-Messages work really well in letters, too. Take a look at your letter. Do most of the sentences begin with the word "You"? If so, then your letter probably just confronts and accuses your friend, which won't give you the best result. But if most of your sentences begin with "I," like the I-Messages do, then you're communicating how you feel, and this is the first step in working things out.
Talk to a counselor
Sometimes you and your friend might be so angry, or see events so differently, that talking about the fight seems impossible. In these cases, the best thing to do is discuss the situation with a school counselor, teacher, or other trusted adult. If you have to, go by yourself at first, then get your friend involved. Going to an adult does not mean that you can't solve your own problems or that you'll be criticized for your behavior. You're simply getting help from someone who has a clearer view of the problem.
Source: PBS Kids Go!
Okay, so your best friend has just said something ultra-mean to you...or worse, she's just said something about you to someone else, behind your back. You're angry, and your first impulse is to say something nasty right back to her, or write her an awful note, or uninvite her to your party
When we're feeling like this, it's hard to sit down and just THINK. But that's the first thing we should do when we've been fighting with a friend. When we use our mouths before our minds, it usually results in something we'll regret later. Instead, take some time to examine what this fight is all about.
If a friend has suddenly started ignoring you or acting like they don't want to be your friend anymore, it is extra-important to think about what's going on before you try to talk to him or her.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
How did this start?
Think about the Who, What, Where, and When of the fight. Who's involved? What happened, and where, and when? How did it happen?
Who seems to have started it?
Don't ask this question as a way of blaming someone. Maybe it seems like you started things off, or perhaps your friend did. It might even seem like neither of you started the fight, or you're both equally at fault. Whatever the answer, it will help you learn more about the situation.
Have any of us done things to make it worse?
What we do or say after a fight begins can make things better or worse. Think about how you and your friend acted after you first began fighting.
Am I mainly angry at my friend for something he did, or am I mostly sad that we're fighting?
Try to sort out exactly what you're feeling. Are you angry? Frustrated? Jealous? Regretful? Do your emotions mostly come from what caused the fight, or the fact that you're fighting in the first place?
Does my friend seem mainly angry, or mainly sad?
Judging by what you see or hear, what are you friend's emotions? Does she seem like she wants the fight to continue, or could she be looking for a way to make up?
Did we have the chance to make things better, but let it go by because we were still too angry?
You may feel like you have the right to stay angry at your friend, and depending on the situation, you just might be. But have you missed chances to heal an important friendship just because you want to hang on to your anger?
Is the thing we started fighting about still worth fighting about, or do we just keep fighting about the fight itself?
Arguments can have lives of their own, and can keep going long after the real reason for arguing has stopped being important. Sometimes fighting friends can't even remember why they first began fighting! Are you and your friend mad at each other just because it's become a habit?
Since every conflict involves at least two people, you've got to talk things over with your friend. The first thing to do is ask your friend to talk to you in private. If other people are around, you might not feel totally comfortable being open and honest with each other. Other kids could take sides in the conversation and make matters worse. What happens if he or she doesn't want to talk? You could also write a letter, which we talk about below. The way in which you talk to your friend is very important. If you start off by saying "You did this," or "You did that," that's accusing, not communicating. Instead, try something called an "I-Message." An I-Message has three parts:
1) I feel ___________________
Be specific about your emotions. You can use more than one word.
2) When you ________________
Give details of how your friend has acted or what he or she has done.
3) Because ________________
This is the hard one: the "why."
Here's an example of an I-Message:
"I feel lonely and angry when you spend more time with other friends, because I don't know why we can't all hang out together.
Here are some other important things to remember when you're talking things out:
Stay cool and talk calmly
You and your friend may be dealing with a lot of emotions, but you should try to stay nice and calm while you talk about why you're fighting. Be sure to let your friend talk for as long as he wants, even if you don't agree with what he's saying. Ask him to give you the same courtesy and let you speak your mind without interruption.
Avoid the blame game
When we talk to someone we've been fighting with, it's natural to say or think things like, "You started it" or "It was all my fault." Try to throw away the whole idea of blame, even if you think your friend is in the wrong. Talk about how the fight has been affecting you both, and discuss the causes of the fight, but don't let the conversation break down into accusations about who did what. All that is in the past, and what you're concentrating on now is the future.
Don't get trapped in another fight
Don't let your talk with your friend make things worse. If it's not going well, it may turn into another fight! The best idea at this point is to put it off until a better time.
Try writing it down
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your friend face-to-face just yet, you might want to write down all your feelings in a letter. Writing letters is a GREAT way to sort out our thoughts and emotions, and express ourselves without worrying about saying the wrong thing. When writing, try to keep in mind all the things we've already mentioned, and don't let the letter become a way of expressing your anger or placing blame. When you finish the letter, you can either send it to your friend or keep it for yourself, as a way of helping you through a talk. I-Messages work really well in letters, too. Take a look at your letter. Do most of the sentences begin with the word "You"? If so, then your letter probably just confronts and accuses your friend, which won't give you the best result. But if most of your sentences begin with "I," like the I-Messages do, then you're communicating how you feel, and this is the first step in working things out.
Talk to a counselor
Sometimes you and your friend might be so angry, or see events so differently, that talking about the fight seems impossible. In these cases, the best thing to do is discuss the situation with a school counselor, teacher, or other trusted adult. If you have to, go by yourself at first, then get your friend involved. Going to an adult does not mean that you can't solve your own problems or that you'll be criticized for your behavior. You're simply getting help from someone who has a clearer view of the problem.
Source: PBS Kids Go!
WHAT IS BULLYING?
Bully. What does this word make you think of? For some people, it's that girl or boy at school who always makes fun of them. For others, it's the biggest kid in the neighborhood who's always trying to beat them up or take their things. Sometimes "bully" means a whole group of kids, ganging up on someone else. No matter what situation or form it comes in, bullying can make you feel depressed, hurt, and alone. It can keep you from enjoying the activities and places that are part of your life.
Bullying happens everywhere, whether it's your town or Paris, France. It happens all the time, and it's happened since forever. Because it's so common, many adults think bullying is just a normal part of growing up. You've probably heard parents or teachers say things like: "Don't let it get to you" or "You just have to be tougher."
But why should something that can make a person so miserable have to be part of growing up? The answer is, it doesn't! Each and every one of us has the right to feel safe in our lives and good about ourselves. So let's take a look at the basics of dealing with bullies.
Let's start by looking at the different kinds of bullying:
Physical bullying means:
Verbal bullying means:
Relationship bullying means:
Cyberbullying means:
What do all these things have in common? They're examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When these are done to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that's bullying.
The reason why one kid would want to bully another kid is this: when you make someone feel bad, you gain power over him or her. Power makes people feel like they're better than another person, and then that makes them feel really good about themselves. Power also makes you stand out from the crowd. It's a way to get attention from other kids, and even from adults.
So why would someone need to hurt someone else in order to feel good about themselves or get attention? Wouldn't it be great to peek inside someone's head, reading his or her thoughts? Let's take a look inside a bully's head. It helps us understand why he or she acts the way she does, and also helps us know how to deal with it. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some are bigger or taller than everyone. Some get in trouble a lot. Some are popular kids who seem to "have it all," with lots of friends and good grades. But look inside their heads and you'll find one thing that they all have in common: Something or someone is making them feel insecure, so they're bullying to make themselves feel better.
Remember, though, that everyone is different and lives with different experiences. If we looked even more inside a person's head, we'd probably find some extra reasons why he or she is acting like a bully:
What about the person who's always nice to you when he's alone, but will join in when his friends start teasing you? Well, as you probably know, peer pressure is a powerful thing. People like to do what their friends are doing. They might think they're just having fun and not even realize they're bullying someone.
Some people act like a bully for a year or two, and then grow out of it. It can also go the opposite way: some people are bullied when they're younger, and then once they're a little bigger and more confident, become a bully themselves. Some kids only act like a bully to one person, like they have their own personal punching bag.
Some bullies set out to hurt someone, with the goal of making him or her cry. Others don't even know that their behavior is doing so much damage. In fact, you may be a bully yourself and not know it! We'll talk more about that later.
So, wow. Lots of different types of bullies out there. The good news is that we can deal with all of them in the same way.
Source: PBS Kids Go!
Bully. What does this word make you think of? For some people, it's that girl or boy at school who always makes fun of them. For others, it's the biggest kid in the neighborhood who's always trying to beat them up or take their things. Sometimes "bully" means a whole group of kids, ganging up on someone else. No matter what situation or form it comes in, bullying can make you feel depressed, hurt, and alone. It can keep you from enjoying the activities and places that are part of your life.
Bullying happens everywhere, whether it's your town or Paris, France. It happens all the time, and it's happened since forever. Because it's so common, many adults think bullying is just a normal part of growing up. You've probably heard parents or teachers say things like: "Don't let it get to you" or "You just have to be tougher."
But why should something that can make a person so miserable have to be part of growing up? The answer is, it doesn't! Each and every one of us has the right to feel safe in our lives and good about ourselves. So let's take a look at the basics of dealing with bullies.
Let's start by looking at the different kinds of bullying:
Physical bullying means:
- Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone...or even just threatening to do it
- Stealing, hiding or ruining someone's things
- Making someone do things he or she don't want to do
Verbal bullying means:
- Name-calling
- Teasing
- Insulting
Relationship bullying means:
- Refusing to talk to someone
- Spreading lies or rumors about someone
- Making someone do things he or she doesn't want to do
Cyberbullying means:
- Bullying or harassing that takes place by using computers or cell phones
- Online threats, or mean, aggressive, rude texts, tweets, or posts
- Posting embarrassing pictures or videos on social media
What do all these things have in common? They're examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When these are done to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that's bullying.
The reason why one kid would want to bully another kid is this: when you make someone feel bad, you gain power over him or her. Power makes people feel like they're better than another person, and then that makes them feel really good about themselves. Power also makes you stand out from the crowd. It's a way to get attention from other kids, and even from adults.
So why would someone need to hurt someone else in order to feel good about themselves or get attention? Wouldn't it be great to peek inside someone's head, reading his or her thoughts? Let's take a look inside a bully's head. It helps us understand why he or she acts the way she does, and also helps us know how to deal with it. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some are bigger or taller than everyone. Some get in trouble a lot. Some are popular kids who seem to "have it all," with lots of friends and good grades. But look inside their heads and you'll find one thing that they all have in common: Something or someone is making them feel insecure, so they're bullying to make themselves feel better.
Remember, though, that everyone is different and lives with different experiences. If we looked even more inside a person's head, we'd probably find some extra reasons why he or she is acting like a bully:
- She's having problems in other parts of her life, like something going on in her family or struggling with school.
- He may not feel like he's getting enough attention from parents or teachers.
- She's watched her parents or older siblings get their way by being angry or pushing other people around.
- He's being bullied himself, maybe by another kid or a brother or sister...or even his own parents.
- Her parents have spoiled her or haven't taught her about not hurting others.
- He's getting exposed to a lot of violence in movies, TV, and video games.
What about the person who's always nice to you when he's alone, but will join in when his friends start teasing you? Well, as you probably know, peer pressure is a powerful thing. People like to do what their friends are doing. They might think they're just having fun and not even realize they're bullying someone.
Some people act like a bully for a year or two, and then grow out of it. It can also go the opposite way: some people are bullied when they're younger, and then once they're a little bigger and more confident, become a bully themselves. Some kids only act like a bully to one person, like they have their own personal punching bag.
Some bullies set out to hurt someone, with the goal of making him or her cry. Others don't even know that their behavior is doing so much damage. In fact, you may be a bully yourself and not know it! We'll talk more about that later.
So, wow. Lots of different types of bullies out there. The good news is that we can deal with all of them in the same way.
Source: PBS Kids Go!
Gossiping and Spreading Rumors: What the Words Mean
So what ARE rumors, exactly? Is there a difference between a rumor and a piece of gossip?
Well, this is what characterizes a rumor: A rumor is a piece of information or a story that has not been verified, meaning that the person telling it doesn't know if it's true or false. Rumors spread from person to person, or can spread from one person to a whole bunch of people at once. Rumors can change slightly each time they're told, so they get more exaggerated over time. Most people who spread rumors don't care if the story is true of not, and don't bother to check it out. A rumor might be true, it might be partially true and partially made up, or it might be totally made up. Unless somebody can definitely say that a story is real or fake, it will stay a rumor.
Here's a good example of a rumor: "I heard that anybody who fails the next history test is going to have to repeat the course over the summer."
Gossip, on the other hand, is a little different:
Not all types of rumors and gossip are alike, and some can be more hurtful and damaging than others.
Slander
So what ARE rumors, exactly? Is there a difference between a rumor and a piece of gossip?
Well, this is what characterizes a rumor: A rumor is a piece of information or a story that has not been verified, meaning that the person telling it doesn't know if it's true or false. Rumors spread from person to person, or can spread from one person to a whole bunch of people at once. Rumors can change slightly each time they're told, so they get more exaggerated over time. Most people who spread rumors don't care if the story is true of not, and don't bother to check it out. A rumor might be true, it might be partially true and partially made up, or it might be totally made up. Unless somebody can definitely say that a story is real or fake, it will stay a rumor.
Here's a good example of a rumor: "I heard that anybody who fails the next history test is going to have to repeat the course over the summer."
Gossip, on the other hand, is a little different:
- Gossip is talk that is somehow "juicy," meaning it deals with subjects that are shocking or personal.
- Gossip is usually about things like love and relationships, or private things that people don't talk openly about.
- Gossip about a person is usually spread behind that person's back.
- Gossip can be true, false, or a rumor.
- When a piece of gossip is known to be false, it's a lie, plain and simple.
- Someone who spreads a lot of gossip can be called "a gossip."
- If a piece of gossip about somebody is true, it can still be very hurtful because that information may be private and personal.
Not all types of rumors and gossip are alike, and some can be more hurtful and damaging than others.
Slander
- Slander is when people spread rumors or lies about a person in order to purposely cause pain or damage. Maybe they want to see this person humiliated or turn others against him or her. They make up lies or pass on embarrassing rumors that probably aren't true.
- Most of the time, we only hear the word "slander" associated with adult conflicts, but it applies to young people as well.
- When slander is in written form, it's called libel. You've probably heard lots of stories about celebs suing tabloid newspapers because the papers have published libel against them. The celebs usually win!
- Slander is one of the most dangerous types of rumors, because the whole point is to hurt somebody.
- An example: "Teresa is a big cheat. She cheats off anyone she sits next to, so don't ever sit near her." This is hurtful to Teresa because not only is she being accused of doing something against the rules, her friends may stop sitting with her in class.
- You may hear people say, "Give me the dish!" or "Let's dish the dirt!" Dishing is another word for gossiping, and a kind of general spreading of rumors and gossip that people don't usually think twice about.
- It's a little different than slander, because most of the time, people don't dish with the aim of causing someone pain and humiliation. However, sometimes it does just that.
- An example: "I asked Jenny what it was like to hold Andrew's hand, and she said it was all clammy and sweaty." This was probably an innocent question and answer driven by curiosity, but if it gets back to Andrew, he'll feel totally embarrassed!
- Many rumors tap into people's common fears, and this makes them sound true even though they usually are not.
- These are often rumors that involve the threat of physical danger, the unknown and unfamiliar, and things that are gross or way-out weird.
- An example: "I hear that the cafeteria meatloaf is made from rats they catch in the school basement."
- Sometimes rumors start out as silly jokes, then get spread around and changed over and over again. When lots of people are telling the same tale, it makes it seem more like the truth. You might think, "How can all these people be wrong?"
- When these rumors last long enough and spread far enough, they actually become part of our culture, often called "Urban Legends," "Modern Legends," or "Urban Myths."
- An example: "Did you hear that when it's halftime at the Super Bowl, water supplies across the U.S. get used up? It's because of all the people going to the bathroom at the same time!"
- Many rumors are just about people getting things wrong, or believing in exaggerations. Often people will swear up and down that they know something to be true when, in reality, they're just passing on a rumor they've heard from someone.
- An example of a rumor that's just misinformation: "I heard that it's okay to drive five miles an hour above the speed limit. The police can't give you a ticket unless you go faster than that." For the record, this is not true. The speed limit is the speed limit, but this rumor is so widespread that people often use it as an excuse with police officers who are writing them speeding tickets!
- If you've ever heard something juicy in an online chat room or in an IM from a friend, you know that the Internet has made it easy to spread a rumor to lots of people with lightning-fast speed. "Cyber-gossip" can involve any of the other types mentioned here.
- It's easy for people to feel less responsible when starting a rumor online, especially if they're able to do it anonymously. Remember that starting a rumor this way, or passing it on, can be even more damaging than if it's done in person because of how many eyes it can reach in a short period of time.
- A hurtful rumor that's spread through cyber-gossip should be taken just as seriously as any other kind of rumor.
ARE YOU BEHAVING LIKE A BULLY?
Take the test...and please be honest
1. Have you ever picked on people who are smaller than you?
2. Have you ever teased someone even if they asked you to stop?
3. When you tease someone, do you like to see them get upset?
4. Do you think it is funny when people make mistakes?
5. Have you ever taken or destroyed someone else’s belonging?
6. Do you want other kids to think you are the toughest kid in school?
7. Have you ever told anyone they can’t be your friend if they don’t do what you say?
8. Have you ever made fun of someone because of the way they looked (clothes, hair and/or size)?
9. Have you ever been mean to someone who hurt you even if they apologized?
10. When you play sports or games, do you always have to be the winner?
11. Have you ever called a classmate “stupid” if they failed an assignment or test?
Add up your Yes and No answers 1 point for YES: Total Yes’s _______ 0 points for NO: Total No’s _______
NOTE: If you have TOO many points in the YES category, please work hard on changing your behavior so that you can be the wonderful
person that you were born to be! #KINDNESS
Take the test...and please be honest
1. Have you ever picked on people who are smaller than you?
2. Have you ever teased someone even if they asked you to stop?
3. When you tease someone, do you like to see them get upset?
4. Do you think it is funny when people make mistakes?
5. Have you ever taken or destroyed someone else’s belonging?
6. Do you want other kids to think you are the toughest kid in school?
7. Have you ever told anyone they can’t be your friend if they don’t do what you say?
8. Have you ever made fun of someone because of the way they looked (clothes, hair and/or size)?
9. Have you ever been mean to someone who hurt you even if they apologized?
10. When you play sports or games, do you always have to be the winner?
11. Have you ever called a classmate “stupid” if they failed an assignment or test?
Add up your Yes and No answers 1 point for YES: Total Yes’s _______ 0 points for NO: Total No’s _______
NOTE: If you have TOO many points in the YES category, please work hard on changing your behavior so that you can be the wonderful
person that you were born to be! #KINDNESS
The Importance of Saying,
No fight can end, and no friendship can move on, until everyone says these two little words. Sometimes, though, they can be difficult to say. Here are some things to keep in mind:
It's not about winning
Friendships aren't like the Super Bowl, and there should never be a winner and a loser. When you start fighting with a friend, it may feel important that you "win" the fight by proving you're right and he's wrong, or by making him be the first to apologize. In reality, you'll BOTH LOSE if you let the fight ruin your friendship, and you will BOTH WIN if you find a way to heal it.
Put aside your pride
You may have heard the expression "His pride stood in the way." This phrase is usually used to describe a person who is so determined to be "right" that he lets an opportunity for happiness pass him by forever. Don't let this happen to a friendship you care about. Remember: as time goes on, we usually forget about who was right and who was wrong in a disagreement, and only remember the sadness of losing a friend.
Take the first step
Are you sick of fighting? Do you think this fight is just not important enough to ruin your friendship? Then try being the first to apologize. You don't have to take full responsibility for starting the fight, or even say that your feelings were wrong. But you should find something that you did or said that's worth apologizing for. Maybe you're sorry that you let the fight go for so long, or that you overreacted to something your friend did. If you say you're sorry, it's like an invitation for your friend to do the same. Once you've both said it, you'll both feel a million times better. Apologizing isn't about "bowing down" to your friend or becoming a "doormat." It's about taking some responsibility for the argument, and inviting him or her to take responsibility too. If your friend thinks she's "won" just because you've apologized, then she's not ready to make up yet. Still having trouble getting the words to come out of your mouth? Try doing it this way:
Source: PBS Kids Go!
No fight can end, and no friendship can move on, until everyone says these two little words. Sometimes, though, they can be difficult to say. Here are some things to keep in mind:
It's not about winning
Friendships aren't like the Super Bowl, and there should never be a winner and a loser. When you start fighting with a friend, it may feel important that you "win" the fight by proving you're right and he's wrong, or by making him be the first to apologize. In reality, you'll BOTH LOSE if you let the fight ruin your friendship, and you will BOTH WIN if you find a way to heal it.
Put aside your pride
You may have heard the expression "His pride stood in the way." This phrase is usually used to describe a person who is so determined to be "right" that he lets an opportunity for happiness pass him by forever. Don't let this happen to a friendship you care about. Remember: as time goes on, we usually forget about who was right and who was wrong in a disagreement, and only remember the sadness of losing a friend.
Take the first step
Are you sick of fighting? Do you think this fight is just not important enough to ruin your friendship? Then try being the first to apologize. You don't have to take full responsibility for starting the fight, or even say that your feelings were wrong. But you should find something that you did or said that's worth apologizing for. Maybe you're sorry that you let the fight go for so long, or that you overreacted to something your friend did. If you say you're sorry, it's like an invitation for your friend to do the same. Once you've both said it, you'll both feel a million times better. Apologizing isn't about "bowing down" to your friend or becoming a "doormat." It's about taking some responsibility for the argument, and inviting him or her to take responsibility too. If your friend thinks she's "won" just because you've apologized, then she's not ready to make up yet. Still having trouble getting the words to come out of your mouth? Try doing it this way:
- "I feel really bad about __________ and I'm sorry that it happened."
- "I know you've felt _________, and I'm sorry for making you feel that way."
Source: PBS Kids Go!
Ten Terrific Test-Taking Tips
For many of us, the real stress begins when a test actually starts. Here are ten important ways to manage that stress and do your best on an exam:
- Show up on time. Get the test off to the best possible start by getting there on time. Arriving late might make you feel rushed and nervous, and arriving too early could give you time to sit there and worry about things.
- Stay focused and relaxed. Focused AND relaxed? Doesn't that sound impossible? Well, what we mean is this: keep your mind on the test, but don't tighten up. Try to stay loose and cool so you can move through the questions one by one. If you feel yourself clenching, or you feel so amped-up that you're afraid you might actually snap your pencil in your hand, try that deep-breathing thing for a moment. Then get right back to the test questions.
- Sit comfortably. Don't hunch over the test or stiffen up. Sit in a relaxed way and keep your posture loose so you don't add aches and pains to your list of possible worries.
- Expect and accept a little bit of stress. Don't worry if you still have some stress while you begin the test. Almost everyone feels this-it's there because you want to do your best and get a good grade. The key is to accept it and not let worrying about the stress make you even more stressed. Tell yourself, "I'm a little worried, but that's okay. I'm going to do well on this test because I'm prepared.
- Read the directions. Take a minute to read the test instructions, if there are any, before you get started. This will keep you from making simple mistakes and guarantee that you won't have to waste time going back and redoing any work because you didn't understand the directions.
- Pace yourself. Your test will probably be timed. Know ahead of time how many questions there are and how quickly you will have to move through each one. Don't focus on the clock as time ticks away, but glance up every once in awhile to make sure you're not falling behind pace.
- Don't rush. Try to keep a good pace-but never rush through a question. Make sure you understand what is being asked, then make sure you think clearly about your answer. If the question is multiple-choice, read every single possible answer before you decide which one is the best. Choice A might seem good at first glance, but sometimes the best answer is another one. You can only know which choice is best if you read them all before you answer.
- Don't get distracted. Keep your eyes on your paper, unless it's to occasionally glance at the clock. Don't look at the students around you. Another good reason to stay focused on your own test is that if you start looking around the room, a teacher might think you're trying to cheat.
- Focus on the stuff you know. What happens if you come across a question that absolutely stumps you or seems impossible to answer? Well, since most tests are timed, you should probably skip a question like this and move on to the next one. After all, you don't want to spend ten minutes on a super-hard question, only to have time run out so you have to leave easier questions blank. In other words: if you get stuck, don't stay stuck. Pass on the questions and come back if you have time. You might come up with the answer to the hard question while you're answering an easier one!
- Use all your time. If you happen to finish the test before time is up, don't sit there staring into space. Go back over the questions, especially the ones that seemed hard, and check your work. Fixing obvious mistakes can help boost your grade, and is way better than just waiting for the clock to run out.
you might get, reward yourself for making it through the test. Go hang with your friends, or spend an afternoon doing something that makes you
happy.
Source: PBS Kids Go!
Test Anxiety
The period for the Georgia Milestone test takes place in the Spring, usually right after Spring Break. During the testing period, many of you will experience what we call Test Anxiety where you will worry excessively about doing well on the tests. Test Anxiety can become a major hindrance on test performance and may cause extreme nervousness and memory lapses among other symptoms.
Here are some tips to help reduce your test taking anxiety:
The period for the Georgia Milestone test takes place in the Spring, usually right after Spring Break. During the testing period, many of you will experience what we call Test Anxiety where you will worry excessively about doing well on the tests. Test Anxiety can become a major hindrance on test performance and may cause extreme nervousness and memory lapses among other symptoms.
Here are some tips to help reduce your test taking anxiety:
- * Try to maintain a positive attitude while preparing for the test and during the test.
- * Get a good night's sleep the night before the test, and eat a good breakfast on the day of the test.
- * Know how much time is allotted for the test so that you have a good idea on how to pace yourself.
- * Read the directions slowly and carefully.
- * Read the entire question and look for keywords.
- * Keep calm and stay relaxed; if you begin to feel nervous, take a few deep breaths to relax yourself, and then get back to work.
What Children Want to Know about Divorce
What exactly is divorce?
When two people get married, they're making a promise to stay Together forever, and in most cases, start a family. But sometimes a marriage that starts out great can turn bad over time. The husband and wife can become so unhappy that the only way to make things better is to end the marriage and start living apart. They're admitting that they can't keep that promise they made. Even though splitting up is very painful and hard to do, they've decided that staying together would be even more difficult and painful.
Do hard times always end in divorce?
No. Your parents may be arguing more than usual. Or maybe they're giving each other the silent treatment. You might have even caught your dad sleeping on the couch, and wondered what's going on. Things might look bad, but you shouldn't assume that your folks are headed for divorce until they tell you so.
No marriage is perfect, and most husbands and wives go through tough times. The world can be a difficult place, and there are all kinds of reasons why parents get mad at each other or start arguing. Most of the time, moms and dads find a way to work through the problem, and things get better. So if you hear shouting or sense tension, don't automatically assume that divorce is on the way.
If the arguments last a long time and your parents can't find a way to make things better, they might decide that getting a divorce is the best thing, or the only thing, to do. At some point, they'll have to tell you what's going on, and they'll talk to you about their plans to divorce. If this happens, you have to understand that things are serious. You can't pretend it's not going to happen, and you can't just wish it away.
Some people are actually relieved when they hear their parents are divorcing, because the fighting, tension, and general unhappiness has gone on for a while. They might actually feel guilty that they're not upset! But if you know that a divorce will make everyone happier, being glad that it's finally happening is also a normal reaction.
Is divorce forever?
Most of the time, yes. In rare cases, moms and dads who have gotten divorces decide that the divorce was a mistake, and get back together. But this doesn't happen very often. You've got to understand that if your parents have told you that they are planning a divorce, it probably means that they will not get back together.
Have you ever had a bad argument with your best friend, and told him or her that you never wanted to be friends again? Then you made up a few days later and were even closer from that point on? Unfortunately, divorce doesn't work like this. When a mom and dad are at the point where they think divorce is the answer, they are past the point of just making up and forgetting their arguments. They have probably tried many, many times to make up, but just can't find a way to do it.
It's perfectly normal for you to want your parents to get back together. Many kids going through a divorce wish for this at some point. But when you cling to the hope that your parents will make up or get remarried, it can make things worse. Things usually go much better if you understand that your parent's decision to divorce is a permanent one. From there, you can move on and find ways to deal with your new life, instead of wishing for your old one back.
Shouldn't they just stay together for my sake?
No. If your parents stayed together just because you want them to, they'd be living with each other even though their relationship isn't working anymore. They would either be pretending to get along, or be fighting all the time. This would probably make you miserable!
Life is tough, even when you're living with both of your parents. You might not want to have to face living with one parent, or dividing your time between two different households. It may be hard for you to see this, but sometimes having one happy parent, or two parents who are separate but happy, is a lot better than having two completely miserable parents.
Am I to blame?
No. In almost all cases, your parents' problems are between the two of them, and don't involve you. It's common for someone to feel like his parents' divorce is his fault. Maybe you feel like your parents would still be happily married if you had just been a better kid, or gotten better grades, or done something different. Try to understand that divorce is about parents having difficulties with each other, not difficulties with their kids.
Can I fix things?
No. The divorce is not about you, so there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Being extra nice to your parents or working harder to be "good" is not going to fix the very real and serious difficulties that your mom and dad are having with each other. Doing the opposite won't work either; for example, acting really bad in the hope that your parents stay together to take care of you. If you make it your mission to get your mom and dad back together again, you'll only end up getting more upset.
A person is not a failure because her parents are divorcing, or because she can't find a way to make everything all better between them. Her one and only job is this: to try to find a way to be happy and healthy even though her parents are splitting up.
Source: PBS Kids Go!
What exactly is divorce?
When two people get married, they're making a promise to stay Together forever, and in most cases, start a family. But sometimes a marriage that starts out great can turn bad over time. The husband and wife can become so unhappy that the only way to make things better is to end the marriage and start living apart. They're admitting that they can't keep that promise they made. Even though splitting up is very painful and hard to do, they've decided that staying together would be even more difficult and painful.
Do hard times always end in divorce?
No. Your parents may be arguing more than usual. Or maybe they're giving each other the silent treatment. You might have even caught your dad sleeping on the couch, and wondered what's going on. Things might look bad, but you shouldn't assume that your folks are headed for divorce until they tell you so.
No marriage is perfect, and most husbands and wives go through tough times. The world can be a difficult place, and there are all kinds of reasons why parents get mad at each other or start arguing. Most of the time, moms and dads find a way to work through the problem, and things get better. So if you hear shouting or sense tension, don't automatically assume that divorce is on the way.
If the arguments last a long time and your parents can't find a way to make things better, they might decide that getting a divorce is the best thing, or the only thing, to do. At some point, they'll have to tell you what's going on, and they'll talk to you about their plans to divorce. If this happens, you have to understand that things are serious. You can't pretend it's not going to happen, and you can't just wish it away.
Some people are actually relieved when they hear their parents are divorcing, because the fighting, tension, and general unhappiness has gone on for a while. They might actually feel guilty that they're not upset! But if you know that a divorce will make everyone happier, being glad that it's finally happening is also a normal reaction.
Is divorce forever?
Most of the time, yes. In rare cases, moms and dads who have gotten divorces decide that the divorce was a mistake, and get back together. But this doesn't happen very often. You've got to understand that if your parents have told you that they are planning a divorce, it probably means that they will not get back together.
Have you ever had a bad argument with your best friend, and told him or her that you never wanted to be friends again? Then you made up a few days later and were even closer from that point on? Unfortunately, divorce doesn't work like this. When a mom and dad are at the point where they think divorce is the answer, they are past the point of just making up and forgetting their arguments. They have probably tried many, many times to make up, but just can't find a way to do it.
It's perfectly normal for you to want your parents to get back together. Many kids going through a divorce wish for this at some point. But when you cling to the hope that your parents will make up or get remarried, it can make things worse. Things usually go much better if you understand that your parent's decision to divorce is a permanent one. From there, you can move on and find ways to deal with your new life, instead of wishing for your old one back.
Shouldn't they just stay together for my sake?
No. If your parents stayed together just because you want them to, they'd be living with each other even though their relationship isn't working anymore. They would either be pretending to get along, or be fighting all the time. This would probably make you miserable!
Life is tough, even when you're living with both of your parents. You might not want to have to face living with one parent, or dividing your time between two different households. It may be hard for you to see this, but sometimes having one happy parent, or two parents who are separate but happy, is a lot better than having two completely miserable parents.
Am I to blame?
No. In almost all cases, your parents' problems are between the two of them, and don't involve you. It's common for someone to feel like his parents' divorce is his fault. Maybe you feel like your parents would still be happily married if you had just been a better kid, or gotten better grades, or done something different. Try to understand that divorce is about parents having difficulties with each other, not difficulties with their kids.
Can I fix things?
No. The divorce is not about you, so there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Being extra nice to your parents or working harder to be "good" is not going to fix the very real and serious difficulties that your mom and dad are having with each other. Doing the opposite won't work either; for example, acting really bad in the hope that your parents stay together to take care of you. If you make it your mission to get your mom and dad back together again, you'll only end up getting more upset.
A person is not a failure because her parents are divorcing, or because she can't find a way to make everything all better between them. Her one and only job is this: to try to find a way to be happy and healthy even though her parents are splitting up.
Source: PBS Kids Go!
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Education, Fun, and Games for Kids
Education, Fun, and Games for Kids